MY COMPULSIVE GAMBLING HISTORY

I became a regular gambler sometime between 2000 and April 2004 and became a different person.  I knew I should seek help.  I told a nurse practitioner in my doctor's office of this concern. Upon being questioned it was suggested I might be depressed.  I agreed to try the drug wellbutrin. I never mentioned my gambling activities.

By August of that year I was a mess.  Credit cards were maxed, monthly bills were not paid on time and I spent a lot of time moving money around.  I  was the bill payer of the family and my explanations for creditor phone calls were always believable.  Mail was tossed in a grocery bag in the back seat of my car.  By the time my family realized there was a big problem, I had 5 or 6 sacks of mail back there.  I felt like "I" was disappearing.

I cried as I drove to the casino because I knew it was wrong and I cried driving home because I had no money.  All my nights and lunch time too was spent at the casino. At my families suggestion I sought counseling and banned myself in my home state 10/30/04.  It was a 5 year ban of self exclusion until 10/31/09.

The counselor was chosen from a list approved by our insurance.  After 2 or 3 visits it was clear to me she had never treated a gambler before.  I described my life in my car and casino activities. "Don't  you have a inner voice telling you to stop?" she asked?

I went to 1 group meeting for compulsive gamblers and reported back to family that all they do is hold hands and sing.  That was not for me.  I can quit by myself I told them.  And I did until 2008. I never knew what this disease was all about and never knew I was a compulsive gambler.

It was early 2008 and for the second time I awoke from deep sleep and had no vision, was weak and nauseous.  I called the RN at the help line.  The advise was, call my doctor in the morning.  A sleep study was ordered and my doctor advised the test was incomplete.  My restless leg syndrome would need to be treated first and then repeat the sleep study.

The RLS medication was prescribed  and I began taking Mirapex in June 2008.  A few months later I got the brilliant idea of visiting a casino out of state. I was terrified I'd go to jail if caught in one in my state during the ban.  By the end of the year I was making regular trips out of state to gamble.  My habit took off from where it had stopped.

The abstinence years in between did not seem to have existed.  I was back in financial trouble fast.  Once again my family became involved.  An intervention meeting occurred.  I could lose privileges? Take away my car keys?  Not see my grand children?  Whoa there, what are your conditions, I asked.

Condition 1 was to tell my doctor.  Condition 2 involved getting a therapist.  Any more gambling and they would no longer trust me to be alone with the grand children for fear I'd leave them alone.

My doctor made some calls and found me a therapy service only for compulsive gamblers.  I went into intensive therapy sessions  3 times a week and began learning about this disease.  After a few weeks my therapist asked what medications I was taking.  She asked if I knew mirapex
could promote pathological gambling. Whaaaaat?