AT THE FLIP OF A SWITCH THERE IS MONEY IN MY POCKET

As a compulsive gambler very little money was spent outside the casino.  If my hair was too long I cut it myself and pocketed the money given to me for a salon visit and set out for the casino.  My health was neglected. That might cost money.  Money was just what I used to feed the slot to get the high. Then the high was gone and I would need more money unless I had a good machine that played give and take for a long period of time.  The result was always the same though.  It was a rare occasion to leave the casino with any money. 

As you might expect, taking care of the family bills and finances got harder and harder through the years.  Eventually it was all used up.  Money in savings, money from credit, fresh money from refinancing, money from yesterdays paycheck, money from the payday loans....all gone.  How could I have done that?  One day that frozen part of my brain will start to thaw out. 

Some compulsive gamblers can pinpoint when the switch got flipped and money was not real but just a means to a feeling, a means to escape.  I can't.  I do know that for me it flipped back again on Nov. 7th, 2013.  Today's counter number is 29.  The switch hasn't blinked in 29 days.  I know that's unusual and I need to be alert for a trigger that will make it blink.










Yesterday while browsing in the  "trash store" as I call them,  I saw a treasure I wanted and I had money in my pocket.  What a thrill!  To celebrate I post this balloon bouquet to thank the people who helped me push that switch.