HOW AM I DOING WITH THE LIST?

Before I can check off accomplishments I must add to it.
11. file business tax report
12. give the dog a haircut

Now for the good part I will xxxx the completed items.

1. get rid of Christmas
xxxx                 2. get a new nightgown
3. get a haircut but really just a trim-up
4. clean the house
5. pack my mini suitcase
6. make a list for my suitcase
7. keep painting
8. finish Christmas projects I did not complete
xxxx               9. check my calendar for conflicts
10. finish grand-daughters birthday presents

That felt good but this is taking way too long. Here's the zinger... Today I got word of a change to the plan. We are to leave the 14th, a day early  and that leaves me 4 days to do all this. HaHa 

I forgot the most frustrating part. Since my husband will be at home during my absence I assumed my mother, who lives with us, would have no complaint.  How wrong I was.  Oh, she told me that even though she thinks it's good I'll be taking the trip and helping someone...she does not want to be alone 8 hours every day while my husband goes to work. Imagine my surprise.  I'm analyzing my options.

I realize she is 92, has serious visions problems, no hobbies other than TV and making phone calls.

On a brighter note I continue to sell my watercolor paintings on EBAY, paint with my friend Sunday mornings as we can, and consider my merchandising options for my jewelry dolls and greeting cards.
Life is good.  Really. 

The other day I walked into the garage and had a flashback to the day I found my husband's secret hiding place for the checkbook and extra blank checks out there. It was a metal locking toolbox type thing and I became a maniac with a screwdriver and hammer.  The combination lock codes I tried brought no results.  To my surprise I managed to bend, pry, finally shake the thing and out popped the book.

These terrible things I did made me feel like I had a split personality. While I was engaged in the act I could stand behind myself, talk to myself and tell myself "this is wrong" but the disease was most powerful at that point. It took a family, counselors and doctor, fellow gamblers, and yes myself because I had to want to stop, to get me here today.

So, you see. Life is good. It's been 427 days since I walked out of that casino with a $1200.00 jackpot sitting on the buffalo machine and it's bells ringing.

PICK YOUR OWN TUNE AND SING WITH ME..."I'M GOING ON A ROAD TRIP, I'M GOING ON A ROAD TRIP"

It's true. I have one more week to get ready before I leave for a week. I need to make a list.
1. get rid of Christmas
2. get a new nightgown
3. get a haircut but really just a trim-up
4. clean the house
5. pack my mini suitcase
6. make a list for my suitcase
7. keep painting
8. finish Christmas projects I did not complete
9. check my calendar for conflicts
10. finish grand-daughters birthday presents

That's enough for now. This list will keep me busy for sure. As I read through this post it seems like I'm in a hurry. Well, yes I am.

AHHHH I LOVE A RAINY DAY!

Yesterday was almost perfect.  A rainy day, coffee, working with my paintings, out for a drive, photographing birds at the riparian, talking to my kids, mom and being with my husband.

I met an Iranian couple at the riparian took their picture, emailed it and I'm waiting to hear how they liked it.

Taking that drive with my mom made me remember all the drives she and I took to get to the casino.  I fantasized doing just that. What would it be like to stop off at one now after all this time?

Well, let's see....my excitement level increases as I drive to the nearest one, hurriedly park the car, skip across the lot, open the door, walk inside and hear familiar sounds. Bells are ringing, machines are playing their tunes, people are talking as I wonder what I want to play first.

I start playing and just that quickly I'm in another world, all else is blocked out. I win a few large rounds, increase my bet because if I won low it would be great to win betting higher.

Well, that didn't work so let's try another machine, get out more money and do the same thing over again and over and over and over and over. Suddenly, I hit a good pot so let's play even higher.

Oh no. I lost it all. No money left, sadly I walk out to the car and once inside I bang my fists on the steering wheel, calling myself stupid. Why did I do that again? Why can't I win, get up and leave?
Now I must drive home, face my husband and and and .....

Ha, it's good to play that tape in my head every once in a while and it's so fitting for this first day of the new year. Just think, I went through a whole year, 2014, playing that tape whenever I felt the urge and never once set foot in the casino. Thank you one and all for your help.

What a great way to celebrate this first day of the new year. Happy New Year everyone!
Here's a few pictures from the riparian.

As water dripped off the blooms of shrubs a Black Phoebe (Tyrant Flycatcher) landed in front of me. I glanced at movement higher up and a fat Northern Mockingbird watched me take his picture.